Fatigue & Burn-Out
Tired?! Reflecting on Fatigue, Christmas 2021
Bone tired, flat tyre, can’t get up the hill tired
Nerve fried, buzz wired, cannot get to sleep tired
Tongue tied, numb, fuzz, can’t put 2 and 2 together
Ache tired, what has died? can’t escape the pain tired
And now it is Christmas and suddenly we are supposed to be Happy! Somehow gifts and decorations and food and travel plans are supposed to magically appear out of the thin air of our fatigue.
I wear a few different hats these days. I wonder if I might try them on and ask each one for passing thoughts on the topic of tiredness. ...
Bone tired, flat tyre, can’t get up the hill tired
Nerve fried, buzz wired, cannot get to sleep tired
Tongue tied, numb, fuzz, can’t put 2 and 2 together
Ache tired, what has died? can’t escape the pain tired
And now it is Christmas and suddenly we are supposed to be Happy! Somehow gifts and decorations and food and travel plans are supposed to magically appear out of the thin air of our fatigue.
I wear a few different hats these days. I wonder if I might try them on and ask each one for passing thoughts on the topic of tiredness. ...
How did you stop?
How did you do it, Lord -
stop working
on the seventh day?
Surely you hadn’t run out of ideas,
so much more you could have done with the universe!
Why stop at ‘very good’?
Why not push on for Excellence?
How did you do it, Jesus –
declare that ‘it is finished’
up there on the cross?
Surely you hadn’t run out of power to heal
truth to speak and show
so many more people you could have touched!
Why stop then?
Why die??
I’m not that good at stopping.
Teach me how to rest
to let my work be ‘good enough’
Teach me to stop.
How did you do it, Lord -
stop working
on the seventh day?
Surely you hadn’t run out of ideas,
so much more you could have done with the universe!
Why stop at ‘very good’?
Why not push on for Excellence?
How did you do it, Jesus –
declare that ‘it is finished’
up there on the cross?
Surely you hadn’t run out of power to heal
truth to speak and show
so many more people you could have touched!
Why stop then?
Why die??
I’m not that good at stopping.
Teach me how to rest
to let my work be ‘good enough’
Teach me to stop.
Did Jesus get tired?
Ministry and recovery
Silvia Purdie
Sept 2017
Here’s a question which will throw your Christology into stark relief: ‘Did Jesus get tired?’. If your Christology is ‘low’ you’ll probably say ‘Duh yes of course!’; he was fully human, and experienced all the pain and exhaustion that we humans do. You’ll remember that he slept (even in a storm on a lake!), and took himself off alone to recharge.
If your Christology is ‘high’ you’ll probably be more ‘well kind of but not really’, as in, as Son of God he had full access to the power of the Holy Spirit in every moment, so he could sleep through a storm not because he was shattered but because he had the whole situation under control.
This question matters to me because I’m trying to live more and more in the steps of Jesus, and I’m curious about how God works through the ebbs and flows of my personal energy. Ask anyone about me and they’ll tell you that I’m a high-energy person. Until I’m not. I don’t ‘crash and burn’ the way I used to, and I’ve got way better at resting, but fatigue is still an issue.
Lots of people have stressful jobs, but ministry is exhausting in a unique way. What job could be as diverse as parish ministry? I am dancing with toddlers, then I’m cleaning a dirty spot on the carpet, then I’m praying with a stranger in tears with longing to see her kids. I am grappling with scripture, alone with my laptop, then I’m rethinking church financial systems, then I’m with a family screwing down the lid on Nana’s coffin. The roles of pastor, preacher, publicist, strategist, celebrant, team leader and mission catalyst pile on top of each other and it’s easy for Silvia to get lost in the crowd. And then there are the other roles of mother, wife, daughter, friend, which also quite rightly claim attention.
In a really big week, like when I had 4 funerals in 8 days recently, I feel stretched. I find myself operating at the edge of my energy, which isn’t a safe place to be. The awesome thing is, God is good. Miraculously I find enough brain-power to write the 4th funeral and a sermon for Sunday, and maybe even cook dinner (or not!). But there is a price to be paid for working at stretch. When the pace slacks off it hits like whiplash. The energy recoils, turns inward and crumbles. The effort strips away and it hurts. I have learned to rest, to lie under a tree, to recover.
Jesus liked to lie around under trees too, I’m told. He made a habit of climbing up the hill behind Caperaum to watch the dawn over the lake, just him alone with his Dad. Solitude, green things, beauty, stillness, open space – these are the things the soul craves when much is demanded of us. Not that Jesus got much of that. His connection to God was open all the time, busy or still, in crowds and in solitude, whether or not his own needs were being met. He spoke about being having access to food the disciples didn’t know about (John 4:32). The great words of John’s gospel describe how Jesus and the Father are one. It is this unity of being and doing with God that is the source and flow of Jesus’s energy. And this is what I desire for my own ministry.
People worry about me burning out, so I tend to not show them my tiredness. Personally I do not feel at risk of burn-out. It’s OK to get tired. It’s not OK to be torn apart by conflicting loyalties. It’s not OK to get chipped away by disappointment. What burns us out is not ministry, but our own warped agendas. Jesus was completely unafraid, and utterly ‘in’ every moment. He knew the Father and he knew he was known by the Father. That’s all that mattered to him. Us? It matters to us when we’re criticised, or when people don’t show up to something we organise. Me? I’m afraid of failing, I get upset if I feel rejected, I want everyone to like me. These are the things can could tear me down and wear me out. I’m determined not to let them.
So I will work hard, and rest well. I will give my ministry everything I’ve got because I know that it’s Jesus’ ministry not mine. I will bring my very best, and probably expect more of myself than I would of anyone else, and I will pay the price for working too hard some weeks. The Spirit of Jesus does not protect me from tiredness, but he does re-energise and renew. The Spirit of Jesus is at work in me continuing to align me to Christ, maturing me so that I don’t care quite so much about what everyone else wants from me.
So, did Jesus get tired? Yes, but he knew how to tap in to the ultimate energy. He needed sleep, and food, and rest and solitude like the rest of us. But unlike us he was totally in line with God and totally free from everyone else’s agendas. So he poured himself out without getting drained. He emptied himself without losing himself.
Ministry and recovery
Silvia Purdie
Sept 2017
Here’s a question which will throw your Christology into stark relief: ‘Did Jesus get tired?’. If your Christology is ‘low’ you’ll probably say ‘Duh yes of course!’; he was fully human, and experienced all the pain and exhaustion that we humans do. You’ll remember that he slept (even in a storm on a lake!), and took himself off alone to recharge.
If your Christology is ‘high’ you’ll probably be more ‘well kind of but not really’, as in, as Son of God he had full access to the power of the Holy Spirit in every moment, so he could sleep through a storm not because he was shattered but because he had the whole situation under control.
This question matters to me because I’m trying to live more and more in the steps of Jesus, and I’m curious about how God works through the ebbs and flows of my personal energy. Ask anyone about me and they’ll tell you that I’m a high-energy person. Until I’m not. I don’t ‘crash and burn’ the way I used to, and I’ve got way better at resting, but fatigue is still an issue.
Lots of people have stressful jobs, but ministry is exhausting in a unique way. What job could be as diverse as parish ministry? I am dancing with toddlers, then I’m cleaning a dirty spot on the carpet, then I’m praying with a stranger in tears with longing to see her kids. I am grappling with scripture, alone with my laptop, then I’m rethinking church financial systems, then I’m with a family screwing down the lid on Nana’s coffin. The roles of pastor, preacher, publicist, strategist, celebrant, team leader and mission catalyst pile on top of each other and it’s easy for Silvia to get lost in the crowd. And then there are the other roles of mother, wife, daughter, friend, which also quite rightly claim attention.
In a really big week, like when I had 4 funerals in 8 days recently, I feel stretched. I find myself operating at the edge of my energy, which isn’t a safe place to be. The awesome thing is, God is good. Miraculously I find enough brain-power to write the 4th funeral and a sermon for Sunday, and maybe even cook dinner (or not!). But there is a price to be paid for working at stretch. When the pace slacks off it hits like whiplash. The energy recoils, turns inward and crumbles. The effort strips away and it hurts. I have learned to rest, to lie under a tree, to recover.
Jesus liked to lie around under trees too, I’m told. He made a habit of climbing up the hill behind Caperaum to watch the dawn over the lake, just him alone with his Dad. Solitude, green things, beauty, stillness, open space – these are the things the soul craves when much is demanded of us. Not that Jesus got much of that. His connection to God was open all the time, busy or still, in crowds and in solitude, whether or not his own needs were being met. He spoke about being having access to food the disciples didn’t know about (John 4:32). The great words of John’s gospel describe how Jesus and the Father are one. It is this unity of being and doing with God that is the source and flow of Jesus’s energy. And this is what I desire for my own ministry.
People worry about me burning out, so I tend to not show them my tiredness. Personally I do not feel at risk of burn-out. It’s OK to get tired. It’s not OK to be torn apart by conflicting loyalties. It’s not OK to get chipped away by disappointment. What burns us out is not ministry, but our own warped agendas. Jesus was completely unafraid, and utterly ‘in’ every moment. He knew the Father and he knew he was known by the Father. That’s all that mattered to him. Us? It matters to us when we’re criticised, or when people don’t show up to something we organise. Me? I’m afraid of failing, I get upset if I feel rejected, I want everyone to like me. These are the things can could tear me down and wear me out. I’m determined not to let them.
So I will work hard, and rest well. I will give my ministry everything I’ve got because I know that it’s Jesus’ ministry not mine. I will bring my very best, and probably expect more of myself than I would of anyone else, and I will pay the price for working too hard some weeks. The Spirit of Jesus does not protect me from tiredness, but he does re-energise and renew. The Spirit of Jesus is at work in me continuing to align me to Christ, maturing me so that I don’t care quite so much about what everyone else wants from me.
So, did Jesus get tired? Yes, but he knew how to tap in to the ultimate energy. He needed sleep, and food, and rest and solitude like the rest of us. But unlike us he was totally in line with God and totally free from everyone else’s agendas. So he poured himself out without getting drained. He emptied himself without losing himself.
Burn-out and Psalm 38
Q: How do you know if you (or someone you care about) could be in danger of burn-out?
A: If you can relate to Psalm 38 you’re in trouble!
I like working hard. I like getting things done and going the extra mile. Hey, no one gets stuck into children’s ministry (or any ministry) because you want a quiet life! But how hard is too hard? How much is too much?
It’s worth doing a check-list from time to time to make sure that you’re not straying into danger-ground, because burning out is most unpleasant and destructive, and much easier to prevent than to recover from. King David knew what it was like, and he has left us Psalm 38 as a vivid guide.
You are in danger of burning out when you are:
a) SICK AND TIRED! “My heart throbs, my strength fails me” (10). “There is no soundness in my flesh … no health in my bones” (3). We all get tired, but when fatigue kicks in life becomes a huge effort. You can’t get enough sleep. You can’t get over the flu. Your back aches, your gut cramps.
b) GRUMPY. “Many are those who hate me wrongfully … who render me evil for good” (19-20). The Psalms are obsessed about enemies, ‘those people out there who have got it in for me’. We try not to think like that in the church, but let’s face it, we do feel got-at and unsupported at times. We try not to take it personally when people criticise and complain or say ‘no’ to our great ideas, but it does affect us. It’s called “death by a thousand paper-cuts”; little niggles that over time really do hurt and diminish us. The Psalms invite us to name our anger. Get mad at the mean-spiritedness and small-mindedness of the church. Get mad at families that don’t provide for their kids and our society that traps people in poverty. The danger for us caring ‘nice’ people is that our passion gets chipped away by a thousand small disappointments. The ‘red flag’ for burn-out is when we start getting cynical. Cynicism kills passion.
c) WORN OUT. “I am utterly spent and crushed. I groan because of the tumult of my heart.” (8) “as for the light of my eyes – it also has gone from me.” (10) Emotional fatigue is different from physical exhaustion. Too much giving out, too much caring, wears out our hearts. Compassion fatigue is when our boundaries crumble, we lose a sense of ‘this is not my problem’ and we take on other people’s pain. Burn-out strips you of the ability to care at all; don’t go there!
d) RECOIL. A specific symptom of burn-out is instinctively pulling back from any demands on you. Psalm 38 describes this beautifully: “I am like the deaf, I do not hear; like the mute, who cannot speak.” (13). Listen to the voice in you that says “I can’t cope with this.”
e) FAILURE. “My iniquities have gone over my head; they weigh like a burden too heavy for me.” (4). Do you feel guilty for tasks not done, words that came out wrong, a relationship gone sour? Is there a growing sense in you that you’re just not up to this, you’re not getting anywhere? “I confess my iniquity, I am sorry for my sin.” (18) Name it before God. Drag shame out into the light or it will poison you.
I’d like to list a matching ‘a-to-e’ of what to do to prevent and treat burn-out but Psalm 38 doesn’t lead far out into the light. The power of the Psalms is in the honesty of emotional experience. Sure, they exaggerate, it’s truth in hyperbole & metaphor; hopefully you have never felt “arrows sunk into me” literally (2), but I bet you have emotionally! If any of this rings bells for you, please find someone to talk to about it, someone who can help you be brutally honest about how you feel, someone who will help you make changes in your life that will protect and restore you.
What Psalm 38 does do is cling to God; “But it is for you, O Lord, that I wait” (15), “O my God, do not be far from me, make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation” (21,22). What we know through Jesus is that God is also clinging to us. Jesus entered our world, our life to share, our pain to bear. He took the arrows aimed at us. Psalm 38 is a song of the cross, cried by Jesus so that we don’t need to. We are never alone in this.
There are heaps of excellent resources on burn-out on the internet. Articles specific to children’s ministry include these:
http://childrensministry.com/articles/burn-out-proof-your-ministry
http://childrensministry.com/articles/when-burnout-takes-you-by-surprise
http://www.churchleaders.com/children/childrens-ministry-how-tos/146846-burnout-proof-your-childrens-ministry.html
This one is written for pastors but is quite cool: https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/2011/05/“where-is-the-joy”:-three-keys-to-avoiding-burnout
My version of Psalm 38: The Burn-Out Psalm - click here:
Q: How do you know if you (or someone you care about) could be in danger of burn-out?
A: If you can relate to Psalm 38 you’re in trouble!
I like working hard. I like getting things done and going the extra mile. Hey, no one gets stuck into children’s ministry (or any ministry) because you want a quiet life! But how hard is too hard? How much is too much?
It’s worth doing a check-list from time to time to make sure that you’re not straying into danger-ground, because burning out is most unpleasant and destructive, and much easier to prevent than to recover from. King David knew what it was like, and he has left us Psalm 38 as a vivid guide.
You are in danger of burning out when you are:
a) SICK AND TIRED! “My heart throbs, my strength fails me” (10). “There is no soundness in my flesh … no health in my bones” (3). We all get tired, but when fatigue kicks in life becomes a huge effort. You can’t get enough sleep. You can’t get over the flu. Your back aches, your gut cramps.
b) GRUMPY. “Many are those who hate me wrongfully … who render me evil for good” (19-20). The Psalms are obsessed about enemies, ‘those people out there who have got it in for me’. We try not to think like that in the church, but let’s face it, we do feel got-at and unsupported at times. We try not to take it personally when people criticise and complain or say ‘no’ to our great ideas, but it does affect us. It’s called “death by a thousand paper-cuts”; little niggles that over time really do hurt and diminish us. The Psalms invite us to name our anger. Get mad at the mean-spiritedness and small-mindedness of the church. Get mad at families that don’t provide for their kids and our society that traps people in poverty. The danger for us caring ‘nice’ people is that our passion gets chipped away by a thousand small disappointments. The ‘red flag’ for burn-out is when we start getting cynical. Cynicism kills passion.
c) WORN OUT. “I am utterly spent and crushed. I groan because of the tumult of my heart.” (8) “as for the light of my eyes – it also has gone from me.” (10) Emotional fatigue is different from physical exhaustion. Too much giving out, too much caring, wears out our hearts. Compassion fatigue is when our boundaries crumble, we lose a sense of ‘this is not my problem’ and we take on other people’s pain. Burn-out strips you of the ability to care at all; don’t go there!
d) RECOIL. A specific symptom of burn-out is instinctively pulling back from any demands on you. Psalm 38 describes this beautifully: “I am like the deaf, I do not hear; like the mute, who cannot speak.” (13). Listen to the voice in you that says “I can’t cope with this.”
e) FAILURE. “My iniquities have gone over my head; they weigh like a burden too heavy for me.” (4). Do you feel guilty for tasks not done, words that came out wrong, a relationship gone sour? Is there a growing sense in you that you’re just not up to this, you’re not getting anywhere? “I confess my iniquity, I am sorry for my sin.” (18) Name it before God. Drag shame out into the light or it will poison you.
I’d like to list a matching ‘a-to-e’ of what to do to prevent and treat burn-out but Psalm 38 doesn’t lead far out into the light. The power of the Psalms is in the honesty of emotional experience. Sure, they exaggerate, it’s truth in hyperbole & metaphor; hopefully you have never felt “arrows sunk into me” literally (2), but I bet you have emotionally! If any of this rings bells for you, please find someone to talk to about it, someone who can help you be brutally honest about how you feel, someone who will help you make changes in your life that will protect and restore you.
What Psalm 38 does do is cling to God; “But it is for you, O Lord, that I wait” (15), “O my God, do not be far from me, make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation” (21,22). What we know through Jesus is that God is also clinging to us. Jesus entered our world, our life to share, our pain to bear. He took the arrows aimed at us. Psalm 38 is a song of the cross, cried by Jesus so that we don’t need to. We are never alone in this.
There are heaps of excellent resources on burn-out on the internet. Articles specific to children’s ministry include these:
http://childrensministry.com/articles/burn-out-proof-your-ministry
http://childrensministry.com/articles/when-burnout-takes-you-by-surprise
http://www.churchleaders.com/children/childrens-ministry-how-tos/146846-burnout-proof-your-childrens-ministry.html
This one is written for pastors but is quite cool: https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/2011/05/“where-is-the-joy”:-three-keys-to-avoiding-burnout
My version of Psalm 38: The Burn-Out Psalm - click here:
