Psalm 39: Mustn’t complain


“Keep calm and carry on”, they say.
“Mustn’t complain” I tell myself,
“Shut up and get on with it.”

Problem is, it doesn’t work.
The pain inside just gets stronger,
burning my heart.

I can’t shut it down any longer,
so I cry out to God …


“Lord, you see the big picture –
what’s my life for?
Lord, you are the big picture –
my life is nothing, just a puff of air.
It will be over and done in no time
but right now I am struggling.

I’m worn down by hit after hit.
I’m tired of my own tears.
I feel such a fool.
I’m lost, homeless, ashamed.
I deserve everything you throw at me.

Are you listening? Do you even see me at all?

Yet still I dare to wait and hope …
My hope is in you. You are my hope.
One day I will smile again.”

and Jesus says “I am no stranger to pain,
and you are no stranger to me.
In me you are at home, free to rest.
Truth will remake you.”

(John 8:31-38)

Psalm 39: A crisis of purpose
 

What’s it all for?
What is life all about?
I sit in silence and ask and ask …
Why do bad things happen to us?
What’s the point? Why bother?
The questions sting and burn.
 
Hear my prayer, O Lord!
I cry without a sound but you can hear me.
I’ll live for a while and then I’ll die -
Will my life have mattered at all?
All I know is – you see what I cannot.
You are good and I hope in you.