Resources for funerals and dying
Funeral Resource
You are welcome to download this collection of poems, prayers, Committals, blessings and readings which I use for the funerals I take. I am continually updating this, and I would love to hear from you if you have more good material that I can include.
You are welcome to download this collection of poems, prayers, Committals, blessings and readings which I use for the funerals I take. I am continually updating this, and I would love to hear from you if you have more good material that I can include.
Saying Goodbye
This is a hand-out to use with a family gathered around as their loved one is dying. It offers simple, familiar prayers, readings and a few hymns, for a time of holy honouring and letting go.
This is a hand-out to use with a family gathered around as their loved one is dying. It offers simple, familiar prayers, readings and a few hymns, for a time of holy honouring and letting go.
Children and Funerals
A resource with suggestions and reflections on what children need around death
including my husband Chris's experience with having the body of the deceased person 'at home' with open casket prior to the funeral, and how that helps children to grieve well.
Lots more great resources for children and grief on the Skylight website:
https://skylight.org.nz/Children
A resource with suggestions and reflections on what children need around death
including my husband Chris's experience with having the body of the deceased person 'at home' with open casket prior to the funeral, and how that helps children to grieve well.
Lots more great resources for children and grief on the Skylight website:
https://skylight.org.nz/Children
After the funeral ...
Please take time to deal with whatever comes up in the aftermath. Grief is a funny old thing; even when a death is not tragic it’s funny how emotions and tiredness can catch you out.
There’s some good material on the NZ Mental Health Foundation website if you want to do some more reading about grieving.
https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/get-help/a-z/resource/41/grief-and-loss
The ‘Grief after Loss’ brochure is worth downloading - it’s short and simple but good material.
Please take time to deal with whatever comes up in the aftermath. Grief is a funny old thing; even when a death is not tragic it’s funny how emotions and tiredness can catch you out.
There’s some good material on the NZ Mental Health Foundation website if you want to do some more reading about grieving.
https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/get-help/a-z/resource/41/grief-and-loss
The ‘Grief after Loss’ brochure is worth downloading - it’s short and simple but good material.
Sudden death: "No rhyme nor reason"
A reflection on our search to make sense of tragedy, and a God who chooses the hard way.
A reflection on our search to make sense of tragedy, and a God who chooses the hard way.
Suicide: Recommendations for funeral services, memorials and remembrance activities for those who have died by suicide
This excellent and helpful resource is written by Greg Hughson, long-time Ecumenical Chaplain at Otago University, Dunedin. Contains links to other important sites for this topic.
This excellent and helpful resource is written by Greg Hughson, long-time Ecumenical Chaplain at Otago University, Dunedin. Contains links to other important sites for this topic.
Still born: Resources for the death of an infant. (mostly author unknown)
After a miscarriage: a gentle service (written by Sharon Ross Ensor)
After a miscarriage: a gentle service (written by Sharon Ross Ensor)
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Funeral poems
Let your grief find a welcome
In this sacred place, let your grief find a welcome.
In this quiet space, let your love tell its story.
Your memories and mine, your tears and mine,
are welcome here, are honoured here.
Your loss is my loss, we share an emptiness.
So let your heart ache. Let your soul rage
against the might-have-beens and should-have-beens.
Your regrets, your frustrations, your unanswered questions
are welcome here. In this moment all is held
all is soaked in a deep spring called grace.
Well done
"Well done, good and faithful servant"
You have stood where you chose to stand
You have spoken the words which were yours to say
You have opened your heart to friend and stranger
You have shaped with your hands what is good and real
You have laughed to the delight of God
Well done for being you
Well done for being there for me
Well done.
Here is a life
Here is a life, woven together
with darning wool and cobwebs
charge cables and number 8 wire
heart strings and strands of hair.
Here is a life constructed
of coloured blocks and bits of fluff
lost pens and forgotten dreams
the smell of baking cake
the feel of sand between the toes.
Here is a life well lived, as well as anyone can,
a heart given away, and given again,
skills tested, risks taken,
hard work, promises kept, and some broken.
Here is a life to remember
in the echo of a sweet song
sun's warmth on the skin
in the spaces between
in the knowing of the soul
Here is a life.
We shouldn't be here
This is not right, we shouldn't be here.
This isn't the plan, it is not fair.
It's not your time, you had more to live,
more yet to do, much more to give.
The loss gapes like fractured stone
The ending grinds like bone on bone.
We who love you come to complain
the wrongness of what is quite plain:
You are gone, you have left,
suddenly, we are all bereft.
We name you loved, we hold you dear.
We choose to give thanks that you were here.
Reluctantly we let you go
reluctantly we let you go.
Blessing for a gardener
There is beauty in a bud, opening tender to the sun
There is beauty in the flower, bright colour, perfect form
there is beauty in the falling of petals, tossed in the breeze
there is beauty in the seed, new life within the dying of the flower
The seed must itself fall into the earth, break open
and sprout bravely, deeper and higher, a new beginning.
May the life of God grow strong within you, as it did in Joy.
May you grieve well for her, and care well for each other.
Go now in peace. Amen.
